Me too!
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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