what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
