If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
