not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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