If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
