I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
