i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
