ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize