is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
