How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
