just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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