he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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