Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Randomize
