Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
