we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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