the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
