I am puke
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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