the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
