We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
