Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
