they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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