Porn is love you can see.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
