I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
