You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
