whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
