no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
