Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
