She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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