did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
