Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It's like God shit irony all over that family
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
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