she was so not down for the gang bang
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
