sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
