Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
