sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
