wanna go halves on a baby?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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