I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
