He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I could have mohawked her pubes.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
