Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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