He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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