We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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