just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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