someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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