Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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