I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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