you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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