i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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