Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize