I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
