i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
