Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
