So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
