dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
