I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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