I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
