Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Someone came in the potted fern
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize