I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
