If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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