Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
