I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize