when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
