You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
