dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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