THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
She has the best kind of daddy issues
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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